Your next title, courtesy of Simon & Garfunkel

I love a good book title, and if it has a song tie-in, all the better. My Kansas City mysteries are named after songs: One O’clock Jump is a famous Count Basie tune, and Sweet and Lowdown is by the great Gershwin. Blackbird Fly is from the Beatles. So when I watched a PBS documentary the other night about the 1969 tour of Simon and Garfunkel one song stuck in my head. I saw S & G in 1969 when they were on tour and I was a mere babe. Well, I was a high school babe. (Just ask my boyfriend — if you can find him.)

Before I give you all the book titles you will need for the next umpteen years, a word about Simon and Garfunkel. First, the hair. Paul Simon was obviously already going bald and doing a weird short comb-over combined with flaps over the ears. Some of you remember flaps over the ears, you know who you are. Then Art, well. As Reed Farrel Coleman would say: Jew-fro!

Secondly, this is 1969, not 1959. Why are they wearing sweater vests — yes, Paul Simon in argyle, I saw it with my own eyes! And Garfunkel wears a red crew neck sweater that was last seen the Christmas prom. Okay, it’s folk music, but in 1969 I was wearing leather hot pants — in the nation’s heartland, no less. Or was it the leather wrap-around mini skirt? Anyway, it was leather. That vest could have been suede, Paul! Show a tiny bit of hipness.

I guess it shouldn’t be surprising that the song I am about to slice and dice is full of cliches. Paul Simon admits in the documentary that he sometimes writes songs for no reason whatsoever, just that the words and music sound good together. (I have, by the way, absolutely no idea what this song is about.) Here you go, The Sound of Silence in book titles.

The Sound of Silence: A post-apocalyptic novel

Hello darkness, my old friend : a paranormal romantic suspense

I’ve come to talk with you again: a stalker thriller

Because a vision softly creeping: a horror novel

Left its seeds while I was sleeping: a revenge novel

And the vision that was planted in my brain: a futuristic medical thriller

Still remains: a forensic anthropology mystery

Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams: a zombie novel

I walked alone: Shane returns, a western

Narrow streets of cobblestone: a Victorian gaslight mystery

‘Neath the halo of a street lamp: a Jack the Ripper novel

I turned my collar: Fashion tips from Tim Gunn

to The cold and damp: an homage to Seattle

When my eyes were stabbed: a blind horror novel

by the flash of a neon light: a New Orleans mood piece

That split the night: A vampire cheerleader novel

And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light : an erotic romance, I saw

Ten thousand people, maybe more: A Tea Party novel

People talking without speaking: A Sarah Palin manifesto

People hearing without listening: A George W. Bush movie

People writing songs that voices never share: a Robinson Crusoe singalong novel

And no one dared: a Mount Everest climbing adventure

Disturb the sound of silence

There are two more stanzas that I will save for another day. They’re good ones. Paul was finally getting to the point.  And if you’re too young to remember Simon and Garfunkel watch the video. You’ve never seen hair like that.